My soul was tortured and my heart was broken. I was alone and lonely and my sadness wrapped brittle fingers across my mind. The blank screen across the room mocked me. No words from anyone in days. Nothing but silence brought about by my own weaknesses. My deepest fear was realized time and again…no one wanted me, for any amount of time. I always fucked up and they always walked away. There was an empty bottle of wine that lay shattered against the locked door. I didn’t know why I had locked it. No one would be coming to see me, to save me. This was my own personal hell, created for and by me. This is where I would live, the monstrosity of pain that I had built on trying to be what no one really wanted. I had not eaten for days. The hunger pangs had stopped long ago. I was starving, but on many levels which had nothing to do with food. The starvation sank deep into my bones and it would no doubt be what killed me. A loud clap of thunder shook the walls and sound reverberated inside. The music got louder and the drag acts started. I'd shown my face but decided this wasn't particularly my scene. As I said goodbye to Amy she asked if I wanted to go anywhere else and maybe could she tag along. I agreed and we both headed off into the night. By now all of the pubs were packed and we were struggling to find a new bar that we both liked. 'shall we just drink at mine?' suggested Amy and I couldn't see any reason not to. We're both enjoying ourselves and making each other laugh. Plus I wasn't drunk, just a little more uninhibited than usual. We both nervously walked back to her place. She unlocked and opened the door as I started to say goodbye. She hugged me and as I pulled away she kissed me softly on the lips. I couldn't resist her and found my arms wrapping around her and pulling her closer.We get inside and she sits me on the sofa before getting a drink. I'm nervous knowing that I've never even had a one night stand let alone been with someone like Amy. We kiss.
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